Don’t get me wrong, I want to get married and I want to have a wedding. But I don’t really want to plan a wedding with the inevitable hassle and stress. I’d rather spend my time planning for after the wedding – the honeymoon! First, I’ve planned plenty of vacations, it’s not very hard to do. Second, a vacation is way more fun than entertaining the relatives that you wish you weren’t related to. Already I’ve had to convince Mr. M that I can’t invite the one uncle he likes and leave off the one uncle he doesn’t like. They are all family and like it or not, they are about to become his family too!
I’ve started indulging in wedding fantasies, aided by a few bridal magazines. Damn those things, they are like crack to crazy brides. But alas, whatever budget I have I know it won’t be much. My mom has been telling me for years that she has money set aside for our wedding, but I have no idea how much. She’s been working out of town since the night we got engaged so we haven’t had a chance to talk numbers. Then there is my dad. My dad in past (pre engagement) discussions insisted on paying for the whole affair, cause “that is what dads do”. But since announcing our engagement I haven’t heard a mention of money. Instead he kept hinting that his finances are stretched (all due to his own ineptness I might add).
That leaves us.
It’s hard for me to imagine blowing a fortune on a single day. There is a set amount I’m willing to spend, plus there is that honeymoon to consider. If there is enough money with my parents help we could throw a modest wedding in town with friends and family. If there isn’t enough, then I think we’ll just run off and elope. We could always throw a party when we return. But for now my plans are in limbo cause I have no budget! I’m like a fish out of water, I can’t function. But I can plan what we are completely paying for – the honeymoon. Now where do we want to go?
Photo: Spankmeeehard
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10 comments:
I would have loved to have just eloped and done a honeymoon, all in one. It was so tempting!
You'll find your way. It's all very overwhelming at first, but then you decide what you want and go from there. Good luck!
Yes, but try to make that honeymoon last the rest of your life!
John DeFlumeri Jr
Why don't you get a destination wedding? Hawaii, Mexico, are all relatively affordable, esp. right now.
It'll keep the attendants down to a very small number, maybe just immediate family and close friends.
Then after the wedding, you can just say kick off your heels, put on your flip flops, and say sayonara, I'm on my honeymoon now.
Ditto on the destination wedding, if you think it would be effective in limiting attendance to those you really want?
I know the feeling. I was very overwhelmed at first, but I eventually decided how I wanted to do it.
Do you have any ideas what you are thinking? Traditional or destination or whatever?
Congratulations on your engagement! My husband and I got married last December, and definitely struggled with reconciling the big wedding we wanted with the limited budget we had. During our planning process, I found a great book called Bridal Bargains (http://www.amazon.com/Bridal-Bargains-9th-Fantastic-Realistic/dp/1889392294/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1255156460&sr=8-1). I promise I get nothing by endorsing this book, but definitely recommend it to any bride on a tight budget (or one just looking to not being ripped off). I read several wedding planning books, and this was by far the most useful. You probably haven't started getting catering and other quotes yet, but it is shocking how much the word "wedding" adds to a price tag!
Just keep in mind when things get stressful (and they will): the important thing is that you are marrying the man you love. This is about the rest of your life together, not just one day. Good luck with the planning; please let us know how it's going!
@Rainy - yeah I'm sure I'll be tempted again before the whole thing is over! Alas I know the wedding is as much for my parents as it is for me, I'm an only kid and loathe to disappoint them.
They'd be crushed if they weren't there.
@John - I'm doing my best!
@Well Heeled - I've considered it, but I don't think it's going to happen. The best wedding I've attended was in the BVIs, but the bride had a connection to the islands. After talking with my mom it looks like an LA wedding it is. She will be paying the bulk of it and wants it to involve family. Her relatives couldn't afford to travel :(
@Revanche - I think the only destination will be the honeymoon, it looks like we're going local. We'll have a small guest list since Mr M refuses to invite his family.
@SP - definitely not traditional! We'll have to trade planning tips, what resources have you been using?
@Amanda - thanks for the tip! I'll have to check it out. We don't want a big wedding, which helps with the budget issues. But LA is sooo expensive and I want something nice but non-traditional. I talked with my mom last night and we have enough budget to make it happen, I just need to figure it all out!
I know you may think this is cheesy but have you considered a Vegas wedding? No, I'm not talking about the Singing Elvis kind of wedding, but at the nicer resorts. I was surprised at how nice my friend's wedding at the Red Rock Casino was. My friend commented that it was also efficient since these Vegas resorts have the catering, florist, banquet all in-house.
We did a destination wedding, and assumed that only a small handful of family would go, it combined with the honeymoon quite nicely.
Honeymoons are definitely one of the better parts of getting married. You need it after the stress of the big day.
My friends and family pitched in to help put it all together so I was lucky. Still, we went to amusement parks for our honeymoon, deciding that roller coasters were the best way to decompress after all that!
Just an fyi: If a family member doesn't have a venue (Tim's parents' community had a cabana which served nicely for the ceremony and reception) I would look at local Parks & Recreation sites. Seattle had some very lovely little "bathhouses" and such with complete kitchens. Much more affordable than most places.
Also, my mom and I saved all of our MyPoints for the whole engagement (about a year and a half) and used them to buy all the food for the event. We were super low-key and it's not for everyone. But we bought cheese, crackers, cold cuts, veggies, fruits, a few dips/spreads, plus rolls and condiments so people could make sandwiches. We held the ceremony at 3 p.m. and started the reception around 3:30, so no one was starving for a whole meal. We got a lot of compliments on the food. Apparently, people really liked being able to assemble their own sandwiches. Maybe our friends and family are just easy to please. Either way, it worked out well.
Finally, keep an eye on sales. Tday & winter holidays are a time when things like tablecloths go on sale. I found white ones, any size, at Kmart the day before Thanksgiving. They were $5 each, I think. I bought online (so I could use rewards programs) and got 12 or so for under $70, after tax. And they were so cheap, I had no trouble reselling them after the wedding, making back most of what I paid.
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