I’m about to commit a faux pas, at least in terms of the cultural traditions I was raised with. I received a last minute wedding invitation and I have no time to come up with a great gift or shop for it. I’m considering just putting cash in a card, though my mom would be appalled if she knew.
I’ve known the bride since she was 5 years old. Our parents are colleagues and we’ve both landed in LA after growing up on the east coast. When she first got to town she crashed at my house for a few weeks until she found a place of her own, but we’re not especially close. We get together a few times a year at parties or dinners. I’m not sure if she honestly forgot to invite us or suddenly did it out of guilt. My dad knew the wedding was this weekend and asked if we were going, I told him we didn’t get an invitation. It didn’t bother me, weddings are expensive and perhaps they were keeping it small. But suddenly I received an email on Thursday full of apologies and asking for us to attend Saturday. The location – the place I had mentioned to her in December as being my dream wedding spot.
Mr. M can’t attend so I will be flying solo to a swanky party under the stars. The invitation said formal attire and I have just the perfect dress. You know the kind that sits in your closet for years cause you have no place to wear it to? I almost had a heart attack when I couldn’t find it, I had been saving it for years. Finally I found it in a different closet, the one where I keep my winter coats??
But what about a gift? Both the bride and groom are struggling artists and I think that cash would probably be appreciated, or am I just taking the easy way out? I was raised to think that cash makes a tacky gift, though looking back on some of the crystal monstrosities my mother gave perhaps money would have been kinder! So what do you my fair readers think – tacky or no?
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10 comments:
Cash isn't tacky at all! When I got married we received quite a few gifts of cash, either in cold hard cash, checks and even some prepaid Visa cards. They were all incredibly welcome and much appreciated. It allows the couple to purchase things that they need, but couldn't put on the registry. (For example, we bought some landscaping for the yard, some needed storage shelves and paint for a room in our new house.)
When one of my BF got married she asked for home depot gift cards so I made her wish come true, she loved it and it was something they could use on there house they had just gotten.
I think that technically it's tacky, but really - who does not appreciate cash? It's all-purpose and can be spent anywhere (unlike gift cards.) Especially in view of the fact that you were invited last-minute, it's totally excusable and totally appropriate to give cash, in my opinion.
Would that really be considered tacky? All we got for our wedding (and all we've ever given for weddings) was cash. This is in NYC/Long Island and cash is definitely the norm.
Like Saving Cents said, giving cash at a wedding is the norm in our area (I'm in northern New Jersey, outside of NYC). Besides, who wants to lug all those gifts home after they've gotten married? Kidding. It's up to you to do what you think is best!
A gift is a gift. I'd be grateful for either, especially when the invite was last minute.
@Dawn - I think they could really use cash so that's what I'm going with.
@Moonblosson - unfortunately they rent so no need for home improvement, otherwise I'd totally go for the depot card. We spend tons of money there!
@444 - I'm using the last minute excuse, I really don't need the stress of shopping. I've honestly never given cash before.
@Saving Cents - I only recently learned it was the custom in some places, that's why I mentioned it wasn't how I was raised. It goes to show that many american customs are regional.
@Rainy Day - well in previous cases I had a gift delivered to their house in advance, no lugging them home afterwards. That's why I thought cash would be more convenient as well.
@Middle Way - yep, that's my excuse. Plus they really are freelance artists living in LA, money is scarce.
I went to a wedding where it was on the invitation that the couple only wanted cash. I pitched in with three other people and we gave them 150. It was appcreciated and made gift giving simple.
The invitation Serendipity got was absolutely tacky - you never write what you want to receive on an invitation!
Cash is the standard gift around here, everyone loves money :)
At Rainfall of Envelopes (I'm a founder of this money gift registry) we try to make both giving and asking for cash a less tacky experience by encouraging that the money be used for more meaningful gifts such as a honeymoon, home down payment, or college fund.
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