How does our financial history shape us? Does growing up wealthy leave a certain imprint on you, lead you towards a certain financial path? What about those growing up in poverty? Does it shape your outlook on life, on money? It’s easy to imagine each life, to make assumptions about each person. What about those who have lived both lives?
We all know the classic story of the plucky underdog raised in poverty, raising themselves up by their bootstraps and finding riches. This is a story in reverse, of someone who went from a life of luxury and privilege to life in a cardboard box, all by the age of 16. What imprint does that leave?
Mr. M is the product of a fourth marriage. His father was the 50-something businessman, his mother the 20-something model. While his father was successful in his own right, he was also a member of a prominent local family. Their name graces institutions and charity boards around Los Angeles. Mr. M grew up surrounded by the children of celebrities and sports stars in a wealthy enclave of Los Angeles. His grade school girlfriend was a supermodel. Groomed to be a titan of business - a child of privilege - until an accident changed everything.
The marriage between his mother and father began deteriorating before Mr. M reached his 10th birthday. By his tween years they kept separate households. Mr. M and his mother never saw eye to eye, so while his sister went to live with mom, Mr. M stayed with dad. Unfortunately old age and health issues soon caught up with his father, who died at home when Mr. M was only 14. Mr. M was left with no choice but to move in with mom, straining their always troubled relationship. When he was 16 he came home from school one day to find the house empty. His mother and sister had vanished, moved and left him behind. He spent a year on the streets of Hollywood, eating out of dumpsters and squatting in vacant houses. He hustled tourists for money to get by. A year later he was made a ward of the state and placed in a group home for orphaned teenagers. His mother’s parental rights were terminated.
Mr. M isn’t sure what became of his father’s fortune. Some was lost while his father battled illness, some remained with his mother. He only has a few mementoes from that past life, hints of wealth I can’t even imagine. Strangely enough he still had a relationship with his mother after she abandoned him, it wasn’t enough to sever that tie completely. Defying the usual gold-digger clichés she moved on to the heiress of a well known business. I have my own opinions on how these experiences shaped him personally and financially, but that is for another post.
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5 comments:
You should not be surprised that Mr. M still has a relationship with his mother. As the mother of several children adopted when they were school age, all of them have strong memories, both good and bad, of life with their birth families. And all have relationships with them now that they are adults. But they all, long ago, stopped counting on their birth parents for anything, which is sad. One question--after spending time on the streets, does Mr. M now covet money so he never has to go back to that? Or does it make him feel that money isn't that important because he can survive whether he has it or not?
It is probably worth consulting an attorney to see if he is entitled to any portion of his father's estate. It is very likely the he is. Because of his age at the father's death, anything left to him would probably have ended up under his mother's custodial care. And even if he wasn't explicitly left anything, any decent attorney could probably get him some sort of settlement (the way his mother treated him after the death just makes that likely figure even bigger).
I agree with MEG. Should try and see if he's entitled to anything.
Esp the whole child abandonment thing. Harsh. I cannot imagine a mother doing that to their child. To one day, come home and not see anyone is really heart breaking to hear.
Talk about not judging so quickly!
Thanks for the story.
That is so sad. I wish I could give the teenaged him a hug. :(
He must be so strong having to have gone through that - that's character building to the core.
How did he find his mother again after that?
Thanks for sharing.
To be left alone and homeless at the age of 16… It makes me very sad that some people treat their children so horribly.
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