It takes money to live, it takes money to die.
My grandmother passed away early Tuesday morning after a roller coaster six days in the hospital. There are certain to be bills from that final hospital stay not covered by Medicare or insurance. Especially since the hospital where she died, the closest to where she lived, was not “in-network”. Those bills will start rolling in soon, but the bill for the funeral had to be paid already.
Tuesday afternoon we went to the funeral home to make the necessary arrangements. Because my grandmother is a veteran most of her burial costs are covered by the government. She will be buried in a local national cemetery with military honors, the family does not have to pay for the service, plot or the plaque that will mark the spot. She did not want a separate church service or any adornment or flowers at her funeral. The military service is short but very moving, with the playing of Taps and the 21 gun salute. When my grandfather passed away many years ago I held up through the church service, but completely broke down during the military one. This simple style is in keeping with how she lived, and meant a huge cost savings for the family.
Even with the cemetery and burial costs for free and no service planned, the funeral arrangements cost $5000. We chose a very basic metal coffin in her favorite color, with tax it came to $975. The remainder of the costs, $4000, were for the various funeral home fees – their service fee, transportation from the hospital, storage of her remains until burial and transportation to the cemetery. We are not having a viewing, which saved the embalming and other preparation costs. In fact the funeral home is doing practically nothing for that $4000, but it’s not like people shop around when they are in grief.
For most funerals you would have to pay for the cemetery plot, the service and burial fees and a headstone or marker. These will add thousands of dollars to the cost, pushing the total to $10,000 or more. Even the cheaper alternative, cremation, runs several thousand dollars. Unfortunately a lot of families are unprepared when it comes to the cost of burying a loved one. In our case grandma had enough cash to cover these final expenses in a joint account with my uncle. If she hadn’t, most of her offspring are well enough off to have covered the bill. The service is set for Wednesday, so posting will remain light into next week. I appreciate everyone’s thoughts and prayers.
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10 comments:
My condolences for your loss. Your grandmother was truly an amazing woman. Even in such sad times, thank you very much for this informative post. I often wonder whether I should start saving money for my parents' burial expenses since I don't expect them to have any money to do so.
When my father passed away, the basic funeral costs ran upwards of $12,000. It is terrible because it is such a sad time for a family and money is the last thing you want to think about. Pre-planning by having a life insurance policy or money in reserve, plus letting your loved ones know your wishes (as you grandmother did) helps make such a hard time a little less stressful.
My condolences on the loss of your dear grandmother.
I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.
Serendipity
I'm so sorry for your loss.
This post reminds me that I need to get this sorted with my parents before it's too late.
So sorry to hear about your grandma. Hang in there.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your grandmother was a truly a wonderful example for us all.
@Kat - thank you for your kind comment. She was a wonderful woman and I miss her greatly. I think it's important to find out your parents wishes, burial or cremation etc. We knew exactly what she wanted and it made planning much easier.
@Dawn - I'm sorry that you've lost your father, that must be tough. Isn't it crazy how expensive funerals are, most of it lost to misc fees.
@Canadian Saver and Serendipity - thank you
@Dog - yes, it's best to know their wishes now. Hopefully you won't need that info for a long time, but it makes it much easier to plan when the time comes. It probably saves money too, I imagine many families overspend because they aren't certain what their loved one would want.
@Middle Way - thanks, I'm doing OK. Spending those last few days by her bedside helped.
@Revanche - thanks, she really was a pioneer for working, independent women. She was special.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
My dad died last year. He was a very modest man and didn't want a funeral or anything else that would have cost a lot of money. We went with cremation and a plain wooden box urn, no funeral. When my mom is ready, we'll scatter his ashes in the ocean. Even that cost a couple of thousand dollars. Planning ahead matters.
I am very sorry for the loss of your grandmother. She sounded like an awesome person.
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