I’ve been holding something back, something I haven’t shared with you. It’s not a secret I’m trying to hide. It’s news that I’m not sure it is appropriate to the current climate. Many people are being faced with layoffs and furloughs, you’re considered lucky to even have a job. In this reality, it seems insensitive to tell people that I got a raise.
As society changes social taboos come and go. New ones have developed recently in response to the world’s economic problems. Frugality is in, conspicuous consumption is out. Even those with money are dialing back their spending, either out of fear that their fortunes will soon change or in sympathy to those that are hurting. Broadcasting one’s good fortune seems tasteless.
Debt reduction is in, coupon websites are suddenly hot and every day the morning show or the evening news has some segment on how to save money. Fashion has picked up on the trend, opulence is out of style and functional pieces rule the day. Bragging about extravagant purchases has become taboo, instead we share tales of bargain hunting bonanzas. Lost in the noise is any discussion of how things are still going right.
Most Americans still have a job, food on the table and a roof over their head (just not the one on their now foreclosed home). Thankfulness for what you have seems socially acceptable, but talking about any sort of windfall is not. Mentioning a bonus, a raise or a promotion seems like an affront to those struggling to hold on to their job. Money has been a taboo subject for years, now it is how you talk about money. It’s OK to say you are struggling or that money is tight. But prosperity in a time of trouble is sure to raise a few eyebrows.
What other recession taboos have you discovered?
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16 comments:
Interesting topic. Being in Canada, we're weathering the recession somewhat better than you Americans are, especially in the part of the country I live in. So, it hasn't been tooo much of an issue yet. I haven't noticed any shame/taboo associated with money here yet, but I have noticed a sharp upturn in the amount of people I know who are suddenly focusing on money and paying off debt this year. I'm not sure if its that we're all getting older and wiser (alot of my friends are around the 30 age) and finally setting goals, or if it really is influenced by the economy.
One thing I have noticed, again, not sure if its economy or gas price related, but large vehicles are definitely on the way out around here. On every block it seems like there is some giant truck or SUV for sale, and little junker bargain cars are being snapped up left and right.
Congratulations on your raise. If someone gets a raise in this economy; more than anything else - it is a testimony to their calibre.
Hi there-Yes I say congrats to you too, its great to hear some good news in this climate for a change!
Congratulations on the raise, I am getting one in April. How about anybody who is envious of you raise can pay your California mortgage?
Congratulations on the raise! My taboo is my hubbin and I spent WAY too much money on our anniversary dinner last week...but I did use a coupon. :)
Congratulations on the raise!
I think I wrote about this before - yuppie guilt.
It's good to be sensitive once in a while, but people like me, like hearing things like that because it means that the situation isn't as bad as it seems (as per the media) out there.
A lot of industries are hit hard, but a lot are thriving, so there's no surprise (on my side) that there are still raises going on, and you should be damn proud for having earned that.
I've been fortunate to get a couple of windfalls recently and it has been very nice. Congrats on your raise! Your topic is very interesting - just 9 months ago or so I was writing about the embarrassment I was feeling at having to tell friends I was broke. Now I wonder if some of them are uncomfortable mentioning bonuses and so forth to me? Hmmm...
Congratualtiosn on your raise!
Congrats on your raise! It is nice to hear that someone is doing well!
Congratulations on the raise! That's sweet!
I experienced the same thing recently - my boss left and I got a promotion, but I felt guilty telling people about it. The irony is that my company is starting to feel the downturn, so I didn't actually get any monetary benefit (yet, I hope!) - my new office is pretty sweet though.
Congrats on your raise!
I think it's good to at least celebrate the positives, so I hope you at least did that.
That said, I can see why you'd be worried about divulging something like this. It seems we have equally active guilt complexes!
I think the biggest recession taboo is asking about job searches. Tim's been out of work since before the recession got quite so awful (April '08). But he had health problems that were keeping him from working. And he has that macho BS about having to "provide" for his family. So whenever anyone would ask, I could see how deeply it hurt him to have to answer he was still looking/still trying to get healthy.
But otherwise, I think it's just a good idea to be careful who you share "big" stuff with. If you're renovating your house, gosh it is probably incredibly exciting. But don't broadcast it to coworkers you're not all that close to. They might be struggling not to be foreclosed on.
In this society, struggling -- really struggling, like "come up with the money or lose the house" -- is viewed with distaste. I think we have all unfortunately absorbed a little of that allegation of laziness of the lower classes. It's not true. But the idea that people are struggling tends to make us all assume they did something wrong. (And some of them probably did. Bought a too-big house or financed too many non-necessities on the credit cards.) So it leads to a feeling of alienation when you're the one struggling. Which can lead to resentment. The last thing an office dynamic needs.
That's fantastic you got a raise, don't be ashamed to let your readers know. Congrats.
I think my biggest issue is that I complain (A LOT) about how much I hate my job. Boyfriend keeps telling me that I'm lucky I HAVE a job and I completely agree but still, when you're not happy at work, it makes life not as easy to enjoy. I'm lucky right now because I've been getting overtime at work for the past few paychecks so I definitely count my blessings about the extra money but still...I hate being here.
@Flirty - well I hope canada is spared the worst of it.
@Manshu - thank you
@Sharon - I didn't realize that some people would appreciate a little good news, I guess I didn't need to hold back.
@K - yeah I'll trade my raise for a midwest mortgage!
@Tightwad - I hope you enjoyed the anniversary dinner, everyone needs a night out once in a while.
@FB - yuppie guilt, great term. I know I'm fortunate.
@Dawn - i think it's considerate to think of someone's financial situation when talking about money or expenses.
@PA - thanks!
@Asgreen - thank you
@MOU - thanks as well
@Cee- congrats on your promotion.
@Abigail - I probably don't celegrate the good enough. It's something I'm working on.
@LL - I'd say complaining about your job is a taboo right now. Many people are losing theirs through no fault of their own, I know they'd be happy just to work. I hope you find a career that makes you happy :)
I'm glad I'm not the only one congratulating you. Also, I'm glad that if someone's getting a raise, it's someone I like! :) Selfish, I know.
Congratulations! I have the same reservations about telling people my wife is going to quit her job to become a stay at home mom in a few months. Right now there aren't many people who can afford to do that. On the flip side, I look at it as a blessing that we are able to do this and hope that her job will be taken up by someone who really needs it.
In the end you can't feel guilty about something that you earned. Be aware not to shout it from the rooftops, but other than that, be happy. You earned it!
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