I think we have a new convert to welcome to the frugal fold. I used to spend mindlessly on objects lacking any true value. My conversion happened over time because I realized my path was unsustainable, the only thing I had to show for it was debt. I changed for my own good, not for anyone else’s. But I’m not talking about me.
Mr. M is not the wisest with his money, he has a pretty bad case of affluenza. But slowly I’ve seen signs of that mythical monster, change. At first it was subtle, I didn’t notice what was happening. He was making do with what we had rather than running out to buy something new. He was suggesting more economical choices to me, not the other way around. In fact, last week he proposed a change to our grocery shopping plan designed to cut back on time and cost. Who is this man?
Leaving my copy of the Tightwad Gazette laying around may have helped, I’ve caught him flipping through the pages several times. While he laughs at most of the suggestions I’m sure a few have sunk in. He is handy around the house and very creative, hallmarks of a good frugal.
Expecting someone to change is unrealistic, but there are ways to encourage frugality in your partner. Nagging and preaching won’t get you far, no one likes to be told what to do. Instead you need to set an example for your partner to follow. Discuss what it is you hope to achieve by living a frugal lifestyle, take an angle that will appeal to your partner. There are many reasons to be frugal, it’s good for the environment and your finances, it stresses simplicity over stuff. It encourages a do-it-yourself attitude that you can be proud of. I embraced frugality because I needed to get out of debt, but I’ve come to appreciate the other benefits.
I’m not sure where Mr. M’s sudden frugality stems from, I can only hope that I helped encourage it. Perhaps there was an inner frugal waiting to be unleashed. But he still manages to leave every light in the house on. Baby steps, I tell myself, baby steps.
Feed: pfblogs.org
PF Blogroll
Posts
10 comments:
What a wonderful post! I to struggle with my own version of "Mr. M." Well, not that he's not frugal, but there are some things he does that I just don't get. At least his twice a day 20 oz. mochas are history (plus tip). Can you say "omigod that's a lota coffee?!?!?!"?
Nice blog, I'll come back for more!
My D has slowly come around as well. We find it a bit of a game now! He is appreciating the true "freedom" frugality brings.
I read a lot about how couples are incompatible financially (i.e., he's a spender and she's a saver and vice versa). As you say, nagging and preaching only makes the partner more resentful. I think this is a testament to your own transformation and how you've become a role model to your S.O. How wonderful that you are both on the same path to financially responsible living. Kudos to both of you.
P.S. Thanks for asking about MJ. I've been meaning to write to you about him but I keep forgetting. Anyhow, so far so good. But I know time's limited when he's so old. I'll be babying and spoiling him rotten until his last day. :-D
That is GREAT news! :)
You of course, had a hand in that.
Fabulously Broke in the City
"Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver."
It sure is nice when both people in a couple are on the same financial page. Mr. K is so far from the same page that he is in a different book. Yes, baby steps are great, just let them build. I am happy that Mr. K agreed that a savings account might be OK, that maybe keeping all his money in his one checking account is helping him spend every penny.
That's really great to hear. To listen to a frugalite talk about frugality is boring, like listening to a dieter go on about a new diet, or how many calories are in this or at.
But to see it in action, to see what it achieves, is much more powerful.
@debtmaven - thanks! I think everyone raises an eyebrow at their partner's spending from time to time. Different priorities and that sort of thing.
@Middle Way - I'm glad you and your partner are on the same page. Mr M is still perusing the tightwad gazette, who knows what new thrifty ideas he'll get.
@Kat - I'm glad MJ is doing OK, enjoy every minute with him. I try to hug my guys every day and be thankful for the time I have with them.
@FB - thanks, I may have had a hand in it. His chronic unemployment helps too!
@K Money - we aren't on the same page in every way and the move towards frugality has taken years. I've found it helps to focus on the common ground and slowly widen that circle to other parts of our lives.
@SP - I couldn't do a whole blog about frugality, I'd get bored! But I think frugal decision making can benefit people of all economic levels and I like to focus on how it can help us achieve other goals.
You're right, nagging won't do any good! And my 'encouragement by example' seems to be rubbing on my DH. He had the choice to fly or drive to an important family issue and he chose to drive to save us money. Now that is sweet to know we are on the same page, financially. :)
Baby steps... and a chart with happy face stickers. lol! Okay, it was a thought.
Plus, being frugal is fun! It takes awhile for people to realize it, but once they do, I think they are hooked. The joy of buying something new wears off pretty fast, but when I think about the home repairs I have done on my own - I still feel a rush of joy, even 6 months later. Using coupons and getting the best deal can be a game, it is like seeing how smart you can be. I think it is a much better rush than spending tons of money.
@Christine - I am not above happy face stickers! You don't want to know the lengths I had to go to teach him please and thank you, I joke he was raised by wolves.
@Dawn - I definitely delight in a bargain, I get a bigger high buying something at a great price than I do when I buy something and worry about the impact to my wallet :) I also feel that pride that comes with doing it yourself, it builds confidence.
Post a Comment