M is for Money

I know what it feels like to be deep in debt. I know the shame and the helplessness, the compulsion to keep spending. I lied to my family, I lied to myself. I felt I couldn’t pay it off, I owed too much. I found creative ways of coping. Denial is a wonderful drug, just ignore the balance on the monthly statement. Delusion is even better, it got me through a few more years. I was a debt junkie, caught up in a cycle of indulgence and repentance. I would pay it down only to spend it back up.

I was able to turn my financial life around. I was able to control my money, rather than letting debt and desire control me. Getting out of debt is like going on a diet, you start out strong but soon your commitment gets forgotten. I was like that. At the end of each cycle the balance was even higher than before. So what changed?

One day in late 2006, I reached my breaking point.

The Breaking Point

When you are in debt, there is a point where the stress and anxiety starts overwhelming all other feelings. It is possible to carry on for years, digging in deeper. I know I did. Slowly every dollar starts to feel heavier and heavier, occupy your thoughts more and more. I think we all reach a point where we’ve had enough. Though the reasons may be different, there is one common thread - the resolve needed to change.

Before buying my house I had paid off half of my credit card debt, $14,000 became $7,000. The next two years I ran the balance back up to over $16,000. Then one of my dogs needed emergency surgery, $3000. On the way home from the vet with frankendog in my lap, an uninsured driver took out my Subie. I didn’t have rental car coverage on my policy and my car was in the shop for months. Those bills were my tipping point. I was now over $20,000 in debt, not including the $1800 I owed on some furniture or the loans for college, a car and a house. It was too much stress, I was near the limit on my primary card. I couldn’t go on the way I had been - I balanced the budget, reined in my spending and took a brutal but higher paying job. I made a commitment to myself – the debt stops here.

If you are in debt I hope you’ve reached your breaking point, even though it’s painful. The sooner you start digging out the sooner you will reach freedom. Getting out of debt isn’t easy, it takes intense motivation. I don’t think the $14,000 in debt I had back in 2004 scared me enough. I didn’t own a house or have a car loan at the time. I became complacent to having that much debt, it felt natural. Only when I was stretched to my limit did I realize that change was my only option.

The Commitment to Change

This is it, the most important step to getting out of debt – commit to change. There are many ways to tackle your debt and a million roadblocks that will get in your way, you need commitment to carry you through. This step is not about why you got into debt or how you are going to get out. It’s about making the choice to free yourself from debt and committing to always move towards that goal.

This is part one of Deliverance from Debt, a multi part series on getting out of debt from someone who has been there. For step one I want you to share your commitment to get out of debt. Tell your mom, your significant other, your best friend, or share it here. Simply sharing your goal improves your odds of success by 10%.

Part 2: Tally Up the Damage